To Shine
by Aerivia
Summary: When Hikaru left Haruhi, he could feel nothing but guilt. Can they get through it and maybe become better friends or even something more? Or will a threat posed to them both make their lives all the harder? Rated T cuz I'm paranoid.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Ouran High School Host Club, if I did there would be more episodes and Hikaru and Haruhi would be married by now...

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Kyoya may have been right after all. During the summer vacation, after Hikaru and Haruhi's date, maybe they would fall in love. If there is one thing Kaoru should have known about Hikaru was to never underestimate him. After all, Tamaki had delivered quite the lecture to the boy which certainly straightened him out as he went running towards the damsel in distress. Besides, Hikaru's namesake means "to shine".

* * *

Haruhi was putting the sheets up on the clothesline when she noticed Hikaru standing all by himself under the large tree. It had been two days since that horrible incident where she had got stuck in the church and Hikaru had come to save her. If there was any time she was grateful for his emotions taking over and controlling him, it was that moment. If he hadn't felt so guilty she may have suffered there all night, all alone. Instead, he was there. She hadn't been able to say thank you for everything that he had done, though technically it was his fault she got stuck there anyway. Either way, he was always too busy apologizing when she saw him to get a word in.

She didn't realize she had stared until a strong wind had knocked a sheet right into her face, cutting off her view from the Hitachiin twin. She blushed as she grabbed a new sheet and continued her work before she discovered what was wrong with the scene by the tree.

'Where's Kaoru?' she thought.

It was very rare to not see the twins together. There was the odd time, like when one went to get garbage bags or to the bathroom.

As she was putting the last sheet on the line, she glanced over again to see that he was no longer over there. Her face fell slightly. Since that night, they'd barely talked. Kaoru tried to cheer her up, telling her it was just the guilt he felt for letting his jealousy causing issues but that only made it worse. She didn't want him to feel guilty. She wanted him to be her friend again. He was very clear that he wanted to be her friend too, that day downstairs when he demanded to know if they were friends or not.

She felt guilt for slapping him, especially with how hard she had hit him. Yet she didn't avoid him because of the guilt. Instead she wanted to fix the issue.

She let out a deep sigh and picked up the now empty basket. He was one of the best friends she could ask for and it was wrong the way he was avoiding her. She turned around, only to accidentally ram the basket into Kaoru.

"I'm so sorry." she said quickly, taking a step back.

"Don't worry about it, Haruhi. Have you seen Hikaru?" the twin asked, a hint of worry in his voice.

"How could I? He's still avoiding me. He was over by the tree earlier." she said, pointing over her left shoulder.

"Still? Well, I have to go find him. See you later!"

"Bye.." she said to the empty air.

Shaking her head, she turned to go inside.

* * *

"Hikaru!" Kaoru cried out again.

He was searching some of the forested area near their cottage, being careful to check all the hiding spots he two had found when they were younger.

"Hikaru! Where are you?"

"What are you doing out here? Why aren't you hanging out with the rest of the them?" Hikaru asked Kaoru.

Kaoru just stared at his brother. Confusion was turning into understanding and concern. Hikaru had red rings around his eyes, his hair a wild mess.

"Hikaru.." his brother murmured, pulling the twin into a hug. "I was so worried, what happened to you?"

"Am I selfish?"

"Oh Hikaru! You shouldn't be feeling guilty. You just weren't used to having a friend. Nobody blames you."

"I left her, Kaoru. I'd never leave you though, so why her?"

"You just weren't thinking. It's okay." Kaoru comforted his brother.

Kaoru and Hikaru just sat there, hugging. Kaoru knew that he wasn't all that Hikaru needed, but he wasn't ready to face Haruhi yet. In his mind, the date was horrible. Guilt was racking him, but he didn't know why. Hikaru just didn't want to face Haruhi until he knew his emotions were under control. He remembered the angry looks when he let his jealousy get the better of him. Her frightened expression when he found her and knew that he was the reason for her being all alone.

He doesn't want to hurt her again. He just doesn't know why.

* * *

Haruhi was laying on her bed. Well, laying wasn't really a word to describe it. She was taking up only a quarter of the small bed, curled into a tiny ball. Not out of fear though. Out of comfort. She was watching the stars twinkle, so bright out here. She almost didn't hear the knock on the door.

"You'll ruin my peace and quiet with your yammering Tamaki-senpai." she stated rather bluntly.

"Good thing I'm not him then. I was wondering if you've seen him, actually." said Kaoru.

"Is there a reason you keep asking me where everyone is?"

"Nope. Just for fun." she could hear the grin in his voice.

"Did you find Hikaru?"

"Yeah, he's confused but alright." he replied, "Actually, I think he's doing better now than he was."

"That's good. Kaoru?"

"Yeah?"

"Is he still feeling guilty?"

"Well... he's never abandoned somebody, but then again, it was only ever the two of us. He's just questioning why he feels so bad about it mostly. I just wish I could help him."

"I know what you mean." Haruhi said, a hint of sadness in her tone.

"You two should hang out soon. Maybe you can help him. I'll even come along this time." He said leaving the room.

'Maybe, if he can stand to be in a mile radius with me. I just wish I could tell him everything's alright... 'she thought as she fell asleep.

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Don't forget to leave a review! It's been a long time since I've wrote anything so I may have gotten writer's tunnel vision. Feel free to correct any errors.


	2. Chapter 2

Awwww! I've never got this much interest from the first chapter. Big thanks to everyone who read, reviewed, followed, favourite! It's amazing to see that people enjoy your work. Thanks again and here you go C:

**DISCLAIMER: If I owned it, I'd of brought Hikaru to life and married him.**

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Haruhi didn't sleep that well that night. Hikaru... her heart started to beat a little faster. It's not fair that he can feel all of this guilt, it's only making her feel guilty for causing so much pain and trouble to him. She sighed, rolling over and looking out the window. In the very same position as last night, the only thing different was the early morning sunlight flitting into her bedroom with the summer breeze.

'I really need to get up and get to work. Tamaki-senpai may be doing a good job handling breakfast but there's still a lot to be done.' Haruhi thinks to herself.

Slipping into clothes and her apron, she worked her way out into the hall. She may not be one to eavesdrop but it's pretty hard when you're walking past the room of someone who can't be in the same space as you. Pausing for just a minute, just long enough to listen.

"Hikaru, how many times must-" Kaoru started.

"I don't want to hear it. I'm confused and need to try an explain it to Haruhi so she doesn't decide I can't be her friend anymore."

"Oh, she'd never do that. She's hurt that you won't even be near her." Kaoru tried.

"Then I've got to go find-"Hikaru started.

"Her after she starts her shift. Wait until breakfast. Until then, get ready."

'I never knew he was avoiding me just so he couldn't hurt me.' She thought, continuing by. 'I just hope he actually stops to talk to me today so we can work things out.'

Inside a certain twin was smirking, knowing just who had been lurking around the corner. Maybe her and his brother would actually make up... if Hikaru could control himself.

* * *

Haruhi was moving among the tables as the breakfast crowd was at it's peak. She offered refills and took away the empty dishes, meeting the guests requests with a flourish. No matter what she's doing she seems to be such a natural with it. Maybe it was all of her training at the host club that let's her keep a bright smile on her face and make ever so proper small talk with the guests. She would've never thought anything good could come out of such a club.

The again it could just be the fact that the school is so pristine and perfect with people who were raised to be elegant.

Sighing she turned around and noticed that both of the twins were sitting at a table in the farthest corner. Sighing she walked over take their orders.

"Have you decided on if you'd like to order?" she said with false cheeriness.

To be honest she was still nervous about talking to Hikaru. It was rude to eavesdrop like she did but the new information left her curious about what he'd say, if they'd return back to how things used to be. She was nervous about how it'll turn out, if he goes through with it that is.

"Actually," Kaoru said standing up, "I'd like to order you to sit down while I go tend to your guests, k?"

He took off before Haruhi could even respond, leaving her speechless. She wasn't sure if she was ready to sit down and talk with Hikaru, and with the way he shifted nervously, she didn't think he was ready either. 'Maybe I should just go back to work..' she thought to herself.

"You can sit down. I won't bite and I promise not run away this time." Hikaru said, looking anywhere but her face.

Haruhi took a seat cautiously. He was acting very peculiar, normally he was very forthright, but this seemed to be the opposite.

"Haruhi.." he started but she cut him off.

"Hikaru, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you." she blushed, looking down into her lap, finding that she also couldn't look him in the face.

"W-what? It wasn't your fault, I was not myself. Or rather, I was more myself than ever before. I let myself get out of control, which I didn't mean to. I was consumed by my jealousy. I've only ever had Kaoru and when you came into my life, that made two people I could rely one. Two that I let in."

Haruhi was looking at him now, as he laid everything down. She tried to speak, but he held up a finger before continuing.

"See, I'm not like you. You have so many friends, you just make them wherever you go. I thought maybe I was replaceable. I thought I was all you needed, that the host club was all you needed. Then I saw how you acted around other friends. The fact that you were so carefree with him was nice to see as we've rarely seen you that way... but it hurt at the same time. I felt as if we couldn't make you happy. I know that I'm childish and immature, and everything else." he took a breath and looked into her doe eyes before continuing, "But I'm sorry, Haruhi. I didn't mean to hurt you, I was just confused."

"I didn't know."

"Huh?"

"I didn't know... that I acted differently around you guys. It's probably all of your rules. 'HARUHI! Put your pinky down to cushion your glass next time!' 'Haruhi! Put this outfit on to please our guests!'. I guess I'm just always down about that stuff." Haruhi finished lamely.

"Wait, do you not like doing all this stuff with us?" Hikaru asked accusingly.

"No! It's not that. It's just that it's..."

"Childish? Stupid? Immature?"

"No, I-"

"Haruhi, that's who I am! I thought of that speech I was going to give all morning, all about who I am, why I overacted and ultimately hurt you. It turns out that I'm the exact thing that you don't like!"

"I-i-it's not the act-" This time Haruhi wasn't cut of by words, instead it was a note being tossed at her.

"There, that's my heart and soul. I'm going home, feel free to read that once I'm gone. Not that it'll matter anyway." he turned in a huff, anger just flowing right off his body in waves.

'Hikaru, I'm sorry... what did I just do?' she thought, looking down at the neatly folded paper in front of her. Silent tears streaking her face, she left the dining room to take a walk.

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**UGH! I hate writing fights! It makes me sad... but ti had to be done in the name of progression! Remember to review! I'll give you cookies :3**


	3. Chapter 3

I know, I can't have them make up yet... it defeats a huge part of my plan... * insert evil grin*****... hehehehehehehehehehe ^.^

Disclaimer: I do not own Ouran High School Host Club. I would so of made a character named Aerivia and married Kyoya if I did. He'd also be x1000000000 the hottest... Between him and Hikaru, I can't pick a favorite.

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After her long walk Haruhi returns to her room, still desperately clutching the piece of paper Hikaru had written to her. She hadn't been able to read it, for fear that it would only make her feel all the more guilty. Really though, it wasn't her fault that Hikaru wouldn't let her explain herself. It's one thing to get over emotional, but he was just being irrational. Childish, immature... oh god. She really is just putting those labels on him. It wasn't her fault though!

Was it?

He wouldn't let her get a word in! She let him ramble on, explain all of his reasoning, but his anger led him to believe her feelings on a subject were true when they were really false. Yes, she didn't always like the way the host club did things, but she still loved being a part of it anyway. It was fun, she was able to relax, so long as they weren't constantly correcting her to follow the "rules" about proper etiquette. That's the thing she didn't like, as well as being a dog. She wasn't fond of having to run around and do everything for them, but the quiet breaks were actually a plus.

She honestly loved the host club. Everyone in it. The sweet, happy, "innocent" Honey. The silent, careful, kind giant known as Mori. The overlay attached daddy, Tamaki. The dark king, who seemed to still care besides the way he acts, Kyoya. Kaoru and Hikaru, a perfect balance among the two. These were her friends... but one thing Hikaru said was still getting to her.

Did she really act differently towards her other friends compared to the host club? That just didn't seem right. She didn't think she was more open around her older friends... maybe it just seemed that way since she'd known him for longer than she had Hikaru. Or maybe, just maybe, he was right about that too. She didn't want to say he was right, but it's definitely a possibility.

Sighing, she pulls her knees up to her chest, her back pressed to the headboard on the wall and her head against the wall. Confusion, anger, hurt... and curiosity. She wants to read the letter, more than anything. Anyone can see this written clearly on her face. Yet she can't. It'd only make the emotions coursing through her veins like blood become overpowering. Things like despair driving her out of control then she'll be just like Hikaru when he's angry.

Her door's flung open with such intensity she thinks it'll come right off of the hinges as an angry looking Kaoru barges in.

"Where is he? What did you say to him? He just packed up everything and left. He wouldn't even talk to me!"

Haruhi exams the stressed twin in front of her. He looks to be on the brink of tears, but what is there to expect? His brother apparently won't even talk to him. That's unheard of! 'Did I cause this? I really didn't mean to..'

Deciding to try and talk, she moved her lips but no sound came out. Trying again, she manages to whisper "I don't know" before making a horrible choking noise.

Kaoru's face softened.

"Haruhi... please, I just need to know."

"We got into an argument. He apologized but then I kind of said something I guess I shouldn't of since he took it in the wrong way. Then he just... blew up." She says, not being able to look at Kaoru's face due to the fact it looks exactly like Hikaru. The image of him hurt was embedded into her memory.

"Did he say anything about where he was going?"

"Home."

Kaoru gave her a small, sympathetic smile. He knows his brother is even more easily hurt after putting everything out there and Haruhi wasn't to blame, at least not completely. Even he has partial blame for trying to make things better and pushing his brother into doing this so soon. Turning around, he left her room, already calling his brother yet again.

When night fell, she was still sitting in the exact same position, staring at the note on the dresser. She'd been doing this exact thing since Hikaru had taken off. Tamaki had attempted to coax her down for dinner, lunch, anything and had to bring the meals to her room where they were barely touched.

An hour ago, Honey-senpai had come up to offer her some of his strawberry cake. He gave her a big hug and wouldn't let go until she hugged back, although it didn't have any enthusiasm. He pouted on his way out, tearing her heart into pieces. Kaoru had left to go see his brother and nobody was happy that the two had only seem to gotten worse. Kyoya could see all the issues if two hosts were fighting. Tamaki couldn't bear to see his family fall apart. Kaoru just wanted his two friends to make up already.

That's all she wanted too. To be able to be friends with him already. She missed his company, the wild fun he brought into her life. That's all she could think about for the hours she's sat here. A quiet knock on her door alerted her but she ignored it. She didn't really want to speak to anyone. Whoever it was didn't speak to her either. Instead, they just gave one more small knock before slipping a note under the door.

She got up slowly and picked up the second note she had received today. On the front of the envelope was just her name, Fujioka Haruhi. She didn't recognize the writing, not in the slightest. Deciding she'd had a long day, she'd read it tomorrow. She wasn't sure who this one is from, but she knew she wasn't ready to handle the one Hikaru had given her. Not yet at least.

Curling back up into bed she fell asleep almost instantly. To a dreamless sleep but one none the less.

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Wow, updated twice in one day, I'm on a roll. Anyway, remember to review/fav/follow, or do none of that.


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